Armchair Psychology's topics - tribe.net

Should she dump him?

2009-11-05T03:33:30Z

to break-up or not?
My daughter is/was going with a guy. She is 25, he is 28. He's a very nice guy. My wife and I like him a lot. They were together for 6 months and it looked pretty serious. We even got invited to his parents house for dinner. We went, met them and had a nice evening. The one problem is this, my daughter is a very motivated young lady who wants a good, solid future. She is artistic, went to the the top rated art college and is just finishing up her Masters in Art Education and will probably get a good teaching position since she is well liked and knows how to "network." The boyfriend, on the other hand, has a dead-end job pumping gas, dropped out of college and seems to have no ambition or drive. He spends a lot of time (and his money) smoking pot with his buddies. My daughter has tried to get him to quit pot, go back to school, look for a more promising job and make somthing of himself. If not for her, at least for himself. After giving him several opportunities to try, she finally told him, she can't stay with him if he doesn't do something for himself. He promises to try, cries over the phone, but does not seem to follw through on his promises. What does the Tribe think?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 5 replies

How do you handle a narcissist?

2009-04-07T17:56:24Z

I have suffered from low self esteem for a good part of my life. I blaim it on my upbringing. We were always the poor relatives. My parents always argued about money (not enough of it). When I was 8 my mother gave birth to my brother who was born severly mentally retarded and deformed. BUT, I think I pulled myself up "by my bootstraps" and now at the age of 62, I feel pretty good about myself. Married to the same woman who I met in college for 40 years, Two good and pretty sucessful kids. A house, 2 cars 2 dogs and a cat, Paying my taxes and mortgage (although it's getting to be a struggle).

But, having lived through my rocky beginnings, I can't stand narcessistic behavior in others. There are two people in particular I have a problem with. My son's wife. She is so freaken perky and happy and la-de-da, I want to kill her! Whenever I go on facebook she has 10 or 15 new posts making statements about how wonderful she is, how "amazing" she is etc. All of these accompanied by new profile pictures showing her in more and more "galmourous" poses. I don't know how my son lives with her?

Next is a "friend" we have had for about 38 years. A guy who is married to a great lady friend. If it weren't for her I wouldn't have anything to do with this guy. He is so narcissistic and self centered it's unbelievable. He hates to come to our house because he likes you to be at his house so he can be in control.
First there is Eating: When there, if we order food in, it has to be what he likes. He sits down at the table and serves himself first, usually hogging any special dishes. He has no qualms about telling you you shouldn't take too much of this or that. He gets up to get himself what he likes to drink, never asking if anybody else wants anything.
Then there is his belittleing behavior: over the years we have given this couple various gifts for various occasions. On his 50 th birthday we gave him an authentic, original framed 1969 Woodstock poster. It was a real one not a reproduction. Last year when they redid their den I aksed where they had put the poster (which when we gave it to him was worth about $500-$800, by now it would fetch over $1000 at auction) He said, "Oh that thing, it's down in the basement with all the other old crap." When I said it was not crap but a valuable poster, he INSISTED that I had told him it was a repro and not worth much.

His son, who is a lot like him was out of work for a few years. Knowing the kid was good with computers, my wife set him up for an interview with a software company president she knew. The son got the job...a very good, high paying job. A few years later when the tech bubble burst and the company went under, my wife mentioned how bad she felt because she had gotten him the job. Our "friend" jumpped up exclaiming, "YOU didn't get him the job, he got it on his own!!!"

And on and on little things like that that drive me crazy. As I've said, we've been friends with this couple for 38 years. I'd love to tell him off, but my wife would kill me if I did. but every time we're with them, my skin crawls.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 4 replies

Helping people with lifes shit.

2008-05-16T09:14:49Z

Something I read today has triggered back an age long believe of mine & thats to do with finding another sense of value in the work we do or the things we do. Let me clarify:
Firstly regards my sexwork either now or in the past, I have always felt strongly that our own inner learning sex psychology should be in higher acclaim &/or awareness. When I was first a Dom back in the seventies, I just thought control, a damn good beating (if they asked for it)& get them (clients) out of the way as fast as possible, was the rules of sexwork in this area of work...how naive I was...& if only I had someone to tell me different may have helped..but..as the years & experience passed by, I began to actually understand my clients, their fears, their dilemma`s, their desires & where they could possibly originate from. I spent some time away from sex work & looked after badgers in a captive environment on Dartmoor..this was also another catalyst. I saw the behaviour of animals that are normally very social, change! & in some cases even become cannabalistic & aggressive. I began to make a conscious study of this. I saw the correlation to people who are forced to live homes with no space or any un-natural environment, even to those who are incarcerated in jails. How this affects the `nature` within was profound!
later on in my life for some years I then became a counseller...going back to the `street` from a different perspective..this affirmed my suspicions & also added to my sense of helplessness, tied as I was to `system`, during that time. I was asked to give talks about my amazing work with the street people of Plymouth (UK). I used this opportunity to `turn the mirror` on my audience (usually officiando`s). I told them about how valuable the work of sex workers is & could be even more potentially powerful in its affect on sexual issues of society...who else gets so close to the clients?...who else has full view of the `child within`, I said. I also used this opportunity to discuss my thoughts about drug users. Which is another bottomless pit of controversy..blaming this, blaming that.
I felt in all the love & hate for & against drugs in this world, that we were potentially missing vital opportunities & learning about ourselves. As I have always been open about my life in sex work, I have always been open about my views on drugs. I feel that drugs are not the problem..it is a mixture of what people feel about themselves & what they feel about others doing something they disapprove of.
Shamanically drugs have huge potential..done with reason in mind, in the right environment & with the right person/people...ritual is always important!
I have had a huge interest especially in psychology, mythology (not in a pagan sense though),sex & drugs/plants. So bearing this in mind I was given this link...(I have read PIKHAL by Shulgin..who this is about).
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article3850302.ece

As a `promise on the horizon` I still think we as sexworkers will one day have a great right reinstated to us, as invaluable citizens of this world...once they give us the right to be heard in a positive & worthy manner.
Anyway feel much better for getting that off my chest..what do others think?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

Discussion

2008-02-07T02:45:57Z

If there's anyone still here who wants to talk about *anything* I'm up for it. I'm bored out of my mind these days with no one to talk to and I crave intellectual discussion. Seriously, anyone, anything.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

What is wrong with me?

2007-09-01T20:16:23Z

I suddenly "feel" in love with someone's picture on the net and waited 18 months to meet him.
The person was a no-show. He was afraid of the large city on a different continent and I was trying to nab a contract so wouldn't meet him at the airport.

He emoted for two days and then went on with his life, picking women in real life or trying to...which makes a lot of sense.

I finally returned to my senses.

I have no idea of what hit me and I usually do.
I am considered lucid and intelligent and I never ever thought that I could get involved in an Internet relationship.

A friend told me that I should consult if I hadn't ditched him within the week, claiming that he is abusive...and he agrees to being psychologically abusive. I think I should consult anyway because though I am over him, this is crazy.

It is as if I were riding the tail of a commet and suddenly landed in real life again.
I wasted a lot of time and energy on this fixation.

What happened to me?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 18 replies

Was Freud wrong about women?

2007-08-07T07:33:36Z

and could he be one of the initiators who started the collapse of our society and the oppression of women's wisdom? I asked after reading the below mentioned article

From the book

Sufism and Transpersonal Psychology

Mustafa Merter, M.D

If we think that Sigmund Freud (Besides Karl Marx and C.Darwin) was a scientific figure who shaped the modern era’s world view, formed the psychological construction of the age and developed the “civilization of psychoanalysis” we can estimate how much damage his pessimist, human degrading and so called scientific and speculative derangement has done. If we want to understand the dynamics of the “modern consumerist” society which is headed towards self-destruction and find solutions we have to understand the seeds these thinkers sowed.

While reading these lines it is not possible to say “who cares about Freud?” unfortunately. Freud and psychoanalysis, be it Freudian or not, has deeply effected the Western world’s thought construction and its view about the world and mankind. This effect is not limited only with the western world. It spreads to the whole world especially with the help of Hollywood film industry and the media.
For example let’s give some examples about Freud’s so called insufficiency of woman, -about the “modern, contemporary, free” woman.
As Freud suggested a miserable woman who has believed or has been led to believe that she has an inherent insufficiency by birth (penis envy!) will try to overcome this inadequacy all her life. She can do it in two ways.
If a woman, against her inherent nature, pursues material power, effectiveness, position (rank) and authority in an extreme manner she will unknowingly become “ manlike”, will turn in to a caricature of man. Because she has lost her noble qualities, like her wisdom, creativity, intuitiveness and compassion by living a manlike existence she gradually becomes distant from her real nature and unknowingly betrays it. ( to understand what I mean you can reflect on the women TV announcers on western news channels)
As a result of this, “emancipated”, “manlike women” are gradually increasing in number in the Western world and the US. This “manlike woman” trying to overcome men in every field attempts to compensate her complex of not having a penis by her manly achievements in the world of men.
For these women, man-woman relationships turn into a compulsory “satisfaction of the impulses”. Because she betrays her inherent nature she hates both herself and the men. Some of them choose a bisexual way of life. Anonymous/promiscuous sexuality, one night stands, temporary relationships without any commitment, with a compulsive/impulsive reflex are all done for “relief”. Long-term and consistent relationships feels boring, restricting and oppressive. Because normal sexuality will not be satisfying after a while, they resort to pervert ways of sexuality. Sadism, masochism, fetishism, group sex, stimulant drug use are all pursuits to add spice to this monotony. For the woman who has been prisoned on this level because she is not able to live the elegant and inherent emotions, all these are a struggle for salvation. If she terribly wants a child she can go to a bar, choose a “stallion man” become pregnant and deliberately does not tell the child who his/her father is. She does not tell because she does not want to take the responsibility of the relationship. This exteremely egoist attitude (I do not know which moral code is in harmony with this approach of leaving a child without a father ) which began in California and then spread to the whole world is not a way of life that is shared by a small group of people anymore but a pervert way of behavior that is gradually expanding in the world. Unfortunately the “psychoanalysis civilization” we live in has detached woman from her essential qualities-values and castrated her.
This “worthless woman” who is gradually becoming manlike, starts to expose herself in the struggle of becoming valuable. With her inherent “insufficiency” (according to Freud) woman, in the name of becoming valuable should expose her femininity excessively, should try to be honorable by exposing her body’s private parts in the world of men. In fact a tragic process is going on here regarding the human values. In the name of becoming valuable, the so called independent/free “contemporary” woman of the Western world, unknowingly becomes a sex object and degrades to a level where she “markets” her body. And the worst is, at the expense of ignoring her essence, she becomes distant to her soul and is alienated to herself.
The nude girls on the advertisement industry’s billboards and TV are tragic examples. Usually when it is not a significant other or a close relative we do not reflect on it and ignore the importance of the issue by a simple defense mechanism. But this attitude is a big mistake and unjust.
Degraded to a level of an object, saperated form her naturalness with make up and surgery, exposing her most sacred parts like flesh in a butcher’s window, the sex object “modern/contemporary” woman is in fact a tragedy for humankind. Even tough “they” don’t know or have forgotten that they know, we know what a woman is as it is expressed in the lines of Rumi.

A woman is the light of God, not a date. She is like the creator, not the created!”
(Rumi, Mathnavi, p.195. MEB Publications)

Psychoanalysis and dream interpretation are vitally important approaches regarding the psychological health of societies. The analysis of human psyche is a very important issue and it can not be analyzed by palliative and speculative methods. A wrong approach may shake the foundations of a society and the building may collapse. As we will mention at the end of the book the “California Syndrome” may dominate the whole world.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 2 replies

Tots take in information and apply it to themselves

2007-07-28T07:20:31Z

Careful. Your toddler is eavesdropping on you.

Researchers from the University of Washington say 18-month-old infants engage in "emotional eavesdropping," meaning they listen and watch emotional reactions between two adults and use that information to manage their own behaviour.

They say the results of their research, which can be found in the March-April issue of the Child Development journal, are a first.

"There are lots of studies of how the emotions parents directly communicate to their infants have an impact on their behaviour," said researcher Betty Repacholi in a news release. "No one before considered if infants can take in emotional information when directed toward someone else and apply it to themselves."

The study shows just how intelligent children are at a very young age. Being able to interpret emotion is an important skill.

"This may be a precursor to 'reading' other people's minds by understanding their emotional and psychological states," said Repacholi. They also point out that toddlers will "use emotional eavesdropping to avoid some of the negative consequences that might arise were they to perform an action themselves."

To some, the study seems like common sense. "I don't really find this to be groundbreaking," says Alyson Schafer, a Toronto-based psychotherapist and author of Breaking the Good Mom Myth: Every Modern Mom's Guide to Getting Past Perfection, Regaining Sanity and Raising Great Kids (Wiley, 2006, $17.99). "A lot of times it takes research to put robustness behind something that we've already talked about."

Schafer says the findings are compatible with what experts -- and parents -- probably already know.

"Our brains are wired so that we do actually plug into each other's emotional states, which is why yawning is contagious," she says. "We know that kids are very keen to watch faces and people's emotions."

Calgary-based child psychologist Michael Boyes agrees. "I think they're overplaying the revolutionary character of the finding," he says, adding it just highlights children's abilities to read the facial expressions of primary caregivers as a way of deciding what's good, what's safe and what's not.

"What is interesting about this study is that kids will pick this up when watching how someone else behaves," says Boyes.

The bottom line is that toddlers pick up on emotional reactions by observing interactions that don't involve them. It's a good thing to keep in mind, says Schafer.

"Parents will be very conscious of being positive to the kids, but they'll turn around and yell at their spouses," she says. "Your kids are watching you. They're learning from that, learning about standards, and learning how to deal with mistakes. They are watching their parents to see how people do it."

Source: http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/arts/story.html?id=2f666e99-c8a9-4232-baa7-e42598e174ff&k=13739

posted in Armchair Psychology - 1 reply

unabridged psychology textbook

2007-04-15T23:21:20Z

http://tribes.tribe.net/omnipedia/thread/048585db-f70e-4dec-8d03-9a4bf8cd6aa7

I am interested in writing a collaborative and cooperative unabridged textbook on psychology. Minus propaganda, minus psychology history, minus psychology personalities,
and minus the usual ego bickering that is usually presented.

Anybody here interested in that?

What would you list as major chapters?

Any thoughts on how to write a better textbook?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 11 replies

relationships with psychoanalists

2007-01-20T21:50:46Z

Is it possible to casually date a psychoanalist for a week, leave the country, come back two months later, and lie of his (office) couch?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 3 replies

Definition

2006-10-07T10:49:15Z

What, in your opinion and words, constitutes an identity crisis?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 3 replies

collective distillation of cognitive archetype

2006-10-03T20:34:23Z

Please help me edit and edit and edit and edit and edit the World's Best Joke...

http://tribes.tribe.net/monkeypants?_click_path=Application%5Btribe%5D.Tribe%5B9fb0e991-01e6-4cea-99b9-2d6ec03cc93f%5D

posted in Armchair Psychology - 4 replies

Transpersonal Psychology Conference

2006-08-03T23:18:55Z

YOU ARE INVITED TO ATTEND
THE 2006 ATP-ITP
TRANSPERSONAL PSYCHOLOGY CONFERENCE
September 7-9, 2006, Palo Alto, California

<www.atpweb.org/> & <www.atpweb.org/Conference...ration.asp>

The Association for Transpersonal Psychology
is teaming up with The Institute for Transpersonal Psychology
to put on an annual Transpersonal Psychology Conference on
"100 Years of Transpersonal Psychology"
to be held in Palo Alto, CA
on September 7 through September 9, 2006

One-hundred years ago, William James used the word "transpersonal" for the first time, in reference to that which is shared amongst people. A century later, the Association for Transpersonal Psychology and the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology invite you to our annual professional conference, to teach, learn, and share the innovations and discoveries that have shaped the field since that auspicious day, and to chart the future for the next 100 years.

* Keynote Speakers: Stanislav Grof, Jeanne Achterberg, Marilyn Schlitz, James Fadiman.

* Special Thursday evening opening event: Honoring Women in Transpersonal Psychology with Louisa Teisch, Christina Grof, Leslie Gray, Olga Louchakova, Rosemarie Anderson, Judy Schavrien, Kate Wolf-Pizor and others.

* Special Friday evening media Premiere of two documentary films, including Kevin Page’s, "The Science of Soul," a documentary of transpersonal psychology,

* Other outstanding presenters include Stanley Krippner, Estelle Frankel, Daniel Benor, Ronald Jue, Frances Vaughan, Brian Wittine, Ruth Cox, Charles Tart, Neil Fiore, Kirk Schneider, David and Cristel Lukoff, Stuart Sovatsky and Sylvia Nakkach.

Topics: transpersonal psychotherapy, therapy, transpersonal approaches to trauma, healing, transpersonal education, entheogens, Kaballah, dreams, expressive arts, women in transpersonal psychology, the contributions of William James, Otto Rank, C. G. Jung, & Baruch Spinoza, experiential workshops at no extra cost, and poster sessions.

Please visit the Association for Transpersonal Psychology website at www.atpweb.org for Conference information, the program of the presenters and topics, and lodging information. You can register at the website online, and by fax and mail. Rates increase after August 24th.

<www.atpweb.org/> & <www.atpweb.org/Conference...ration.asp>
Phone: (650) 424-8764.

Continuing Education units are available. Special rates for students, members of ATP and AHP, and presenters.

Please feel free to forward this invitation to colleagues and others who may be interested. Since this is our main way of announcing the conference, we appreciate your assistance.

Sponsored by the Association for Transpersonal Psychology and the Institute for Transpersonal Psychology. Conference sessions will be held at ITP and the Unity Church of Palo Alto.

<www.atpweb.org/> & <www.atpweb.org/Conference...ration.asp>
<mailto: Dan@atpweb.org>

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

What's your personality type?

2006-07-22T23:17:50Z

Find out with the 'What Am I Like?' Personality test.

This test is 20 questions long and should take about 10 minutes
It is made up of four sets of five questions and you will find out about a different aspect of your personality after every five questions
At the end of the test you will be assigned one of 16 possible personality types
This personality test can't tell you exactly what you are like. No survey can predict personality type with 100 % accuracy. Experts say we should use personality type descriptions to better understand ourselves and others, but shouldn't feel restricted by our results
The test was developed for the television programme 'What Am I Like? The Personality Test'
It is a simplified personality test based on personality type theory, devised by psychologists

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/whatamilike/index.shtml

posted in Armchair Psychology - 49 replies

True Love

2006-06-11T20:02:13Z

Just wondering if anyone believes in true love

posted in Armchair Psychology - 24 replies

Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder

2006-06-08T17:36:47Z

Is Beauty truly in the Eye of the Beholder or are there discernable, measurable systems that determine who is beautiful and who is not.

Since beauties like Angelina Jolie, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Monica Bellucci, A-Rai, Brad Pitt, etc etc etc.. have hit the genealogical jack pot and can and have basically written their own ticket towards a modicum of ease, what does that spell for the rest of us who will never be quite so attractive?

It has been found that men are more likely to be hard-wired by looks as opposed to Women who usually look beyond physical features, towards other mechanism that may ensure her survival and that of her offspring, thus are we doomed by our genes and thus of us who are not quite as attractive must inevitably bolster other areas in order to ensure that we can viewed as attractive by others.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 16 replies

Lukcy Country

2006-06-01T12:39:07Z

Australia is known as "The Lucky Country" and thats where I live. Therefore I am luckier than you. I guess some people are just luckier than others.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 4 replies

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ("ACT")

2006-04-14T01:52:00Z

I assume by now that many have read the Time Magazine article about ACT (and Hayes). I find the ACT approach compelling, at least based on the way I think human brains work. Anyone care to discuss?

Here's a link to the article, for those who missed it: http://www.newharbinger.com/client/client_images/NHpdfs/Happinessnotnormal.pdf

posted in Armchair Psychology - 3 replies

shelter from the storm

2006-02-17T18:31:03Z

What makes you feel comfort and discomfort?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 2 replies

Handling Conflict

2006-02-17T18:29:28Z

I have a pretty thin skin. It's easy to hurt my feelings. Some people know this and have been using it to their advantage: following me around, insulting me, doing anything they can to get a rise out of me. So far, I've just been ignoring it, but I find it hard not to react or feel hurt (though it is getting easier to feel that it's not my responsibility as the behavior grows more and more cartoonishly shrill). Do any of you folks know more about handling conflict well, decreasing sensitivity, whatever? Because my life has suddenly turned into the locker room scene from "Carrie," I can't seem to make this situation work out well, and it's really getting on my nerves.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 19 replies

What's with these posts?

2006-01-29T18:35:56Z

With spam?

shesh...

posted in Armchair Psychology - 2 replies

it all started

2005-12-07T06:47:06Z

when my father was sitting on the floor with me in my room, while I cried about how it sucked to wear a scoliosis brace, when already I had to wear glasses and braces.
My dad said, "Well, we got you glasses just as soon as we knew you were nearsighted, and we sent you to the orthodontist just as soon as the dentist told us to..."
But I wasn't trying to criticize him for delaying getting me glasses. I just wanted him to understand this was hard for me, and show he understood.

Now, every time I tell a guy I feel bad about something, they take it as a personal critique and start defending themselves - when most often it's just a call for sympathy.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 7 replies

I love it..every site should connect to this one

2005-11-25T02:30:29Z

I see everyone psychobabbeling all over the place on tribe!

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

See ...

2005-11-15T02:51:18Z

... some step-mothers are evil.

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/13150514.htm

posted in Armchair Psychology - 2 replies

Invaluable Resource for Students Teachers Therapists and Scholars

2005-11-06T21:47:58Z

The Association for Transpersonal Psychology is a membership-supported international coordinating organization for scientific, social, and clinical transpersonal work that serves the world community. The Association's mission is to promote eco-spiritual transformation through transpersonal inquiry and action. Recognizing the reciprocity inherent between our actions and our world, the Association is dedicated to encouraging and enhancing practices and perspectives that will lead to a conscious, sustainable, co-evolution of culture, nature, and society.

www.atpweb.org/

OUR HISTORY
ATP was originally founded to investigate and promote ultimate states -- also described as peak experiences, being-states, or mystical states of consciousness -- and how these experiences could be encouraged and enhanced for changing both personal and cultural perspectives. Evidence of ATP's success over the past 30 years includes: the wide-spread acceptance of the use of meditation in health care; an increased dialog between science and spiritual traditions; scientific recognition of the importance of religious beliefs in maintaining personal health; and an increasing recognition of the importance of spiritual values in conducting sustainable commerce.

www.atpweb.org/transperspect.asp

OUR FUTURE
As we move into the 21st century, ATP is dedicating itself to promoting a vision of the universe as sacred. To this end, ATP encourages spiritual democracy; rigorous inquiry into the multiplicity of techniques, disciplines, and methods for exploring personal spirituality and traditional cultural practices; and recognition of how the sacred is imbedded in all experience. Our offices are located at the Thoreau Center for Sustainability, in the Presidio of San Francisco, offering a wealth of networking opportunities with other social justice, community education, public health, and environmental non-profit groups. Our members are represented in more than 40 countries, and ATP provides a forum for transpersonal organizations worldwide. Membership is open to anyone with transpersonal interests.

atpweb.org/professional_resources.asp

Membership includes:
* A subscription to the bi-annual, peer-reviewed premier Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, where the latest developments, discoveries, and dialogues are announced.
* A copy of ATP's Directory of Transpersonal Schools and Programs, Professional Members Directory.
* The Association's print and electronic Newsletters, with articles, interviews, announcements of ATP activities, topical issues, and more. Members are encouraged to submit material for publication.
* Reduced rates for annual conferences, as well as newsletter classified advertising.
* ID & Password to the Members Only section of our web site which includes full text archives of the Journal of Transpersonal Psychology dating back to its inception in 1969. Access also includes use of the recently-uploaded more than 200+ hours of audio from lectures, talks, and presentations at transpersonal conferences since 1990 to the present. Presenters include seminal figures and leading lights in the field of transpersonal psychology: Stan Grof, Huston Smith, Ken Wilber, Jorge Ferrer, Jeanne Achterberg, David Lukoff, Ram Dass, James Fadiman, Rachel Remen, Jeremy Taylor, and many many others.

This is surely a resource that is not to be missed!
Join Today!

www.atpweb.org/join.asp

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

Scary Smart: Does Enormously High IQ Always Point to Greatness

2005-11-03T22:53:36Z

Every few years a child was/. is spotlighted as breaking the IQ curve, of being dubbed an amazing Whiz kid who has the unending potential of being polymaths a la Leonardo, another Einstein, or perhaps a prodigal Mozart. For those who consistently score in the 99th percentile or beyond of super nova brightness, it is assumed or perhaps it is merely a projection, that they all have the ability to become leaders in whatever field they decide it is worthy of their time to pursue. That they are in fact slumming with the rest of us Average Joes and Janes when their potential for greatness is already assured.

A high profile example is Marilyn Vos Savant who it is reported I believe that has had the highest recorded IQ, but What has she done with this wealth of intelligence other than write books on how to think like a genius and expound bits of advice in parade Magazine. What of the Terman children who were basically engineered to be great. Are they all Noble Prize winners, harbingers of Peace, have eliminated World Hunger and have brought unparalleled beauty in Art, Music, and Literature to everyone.

And what of all those 9 and 10 year olds that finished college and medical school. Have they contributed anything of merit that would justify why we place so much importance on a High IQ? What are the benefits besides a membership into Mensa and Self-Congratulatory societies that appreciate your smartness and brightness because the rest of are to un-evolved and unimaginative to get them?

Is Gardner merely appeasing the rest of us with his 7 Intelligences or Goldman’s EQ as a liberal attempt to lessen the impact of what IQ measures and that their approach is to make the rest of us feel better that we will always be merely average and thus limited, but at least we can see we are spiritually superior, more empathetic inclined and more Kinesthetic than Albert Einstein or Asberger Gates.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 5 replies

finishing things

2005-10-11T05:13:12Z

i create music and i have a difficult time finishing projects. it seems easier if it is something off the cuff like a joke, but when it comes to making serious music, it gets tricky. those who create understand that art can really be a vulnerable thing. it's like being naked in a sense.
so...it is a complex thing for me to understand. sometimes i think that it because i have too weighty of expectations. i am quite hard on myself when it comes to such things.... linked to self-esteem? it has always been difficult for me to anylize myself...
music is my passion. it really is. i know i am capable of beautiful things, but i feel stuck.
can anyone relate or does anyone have any thoughts?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 23 replies

New

2005-09-22T21:01:40Z

Hi, I just found this tribe and wanted to join.
I'm not a psychologist, but I just finished a PdD in narratology, and realized about a month before I defended my diss. that what I actually wanted was to get into narrative therapy. So that's my next goal.
I think I'll lurk here and try out what I know and see if it helps anybody.
Feedback appreciated,and feel free to IM me.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 1 reply

psychosomatic

2005-09-20T13:44:46Z

Anybody good at interpreting psychosomatic disorders?

My right shoulder aches - it's ached on and off for months. There is nothing wrong with it.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 4 replies

TV ruined my Christmas...

2005-09-10T00:16:00Z

I admit, I am a scrooge.

I've been trying for years to figure out why I get a little down around the holidays. I've come to the conclusion that I'm just jealous of how all the made for TV movie characters are just so incredibly happy on Christmas. All these years I've been watching people have Christmas miracles. Think about it...all those Christmas TV specials involve the main characters having some sort of earth shattering, life altering Christmas. And yet the cold harsh reality is that I've never really had any earth shattering experience for Christmas...nope...not once have I been reunited with any long lost lover, I've never gotten a red rider bb gun or a pony for christmas, I've never sang my way out of nazi germany. All these TV movies are great because it's what everyone wants to see....but unfortunately for me, I think they've given me some unrealistic expectations for Christmas. Am I alone here?

Where's the made for TV christmas movie that involves an ordinary guy getting a crappy sweater that he'll never wear?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 9 replies

The Zeigarnik Effect

2005-08-31T18:03:10Z

I recently became aware of the term "The Zeigarnik Effect" which describes a phenomenon first articulated by the Russian psychologist Bluma Zeigarnik (hence the name). The Zeigarnik Effect simply states that people remember interrupted or incompleted tasks better than completed ones.

If you think about it a bit, it makes some sense that this would occur. After a task or project has been completed, the details of it will generally not play as important of a part in our day-to-day life as the tasks/projects that are still in progress so it would be advantageous to have it recede in memory compared to things that aren't finished.

I've been trying to think of examples where this effect may have been or is being exploited to keep something foremost in people's minds, possibly without them being aware of why that is. It seems to me like the sort of psychological phenomenon that advertisers or politicians would be able to exploit to their advantage.

Comments? Examples?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 3 replies

sexless marriages

2005-08-17T04:36:59Z

I was talking to a friend from work tonight and aparantley she has not had sex with her husband for 2 months. She said that the whole lack of sex issue has been going on for about a year and she doesn't know what to do anymore. they've had conversations, but he ends up angry because he feels attacked. She's tried doing sexy, out of the ordinary things, but he tends to respond minimally, leaving her feeling rejected and ultimately turned off. and she suggested going to therapy but he feels that it is "unethical" to use his work insurance for marraige counselling. sounds like an excuse if you ask me.
I didn't know what to tell her because i'm not married and if it had happened to me with a boyfriend i would just leave him and move on. but they're married with kids, so it's not that simple. Does anyone have any suggestions?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 30 replies

"Eyes I Dare not meet in Dreams"

2005-07-31T21:56:38Z

Songs for when sleep is not forthcoming,
and your soul is awake,
vulnerable and hungry for a dream deferred:

"Intro" - Lasgo

"Scary World Theory" - Lila Pula

"Green Grass of Tunnel" - Mum

"The Shining" - Badly Drawn Boy

"Blue Jeans" - Lady Tron

"Daydreams in Blue" - I Monster

"Leave in Silence" - Depeche Mode

"Falling from Grace" - The Gentle Waves

"Heaven" - Emer Kenny

"Eden" - Sarah Brightman

"Your Silent Face" - New Order

"Enjoy the Silence" - Depeche Mode

"Natural Blues" - Moby

"Pilots" - Allison Goldfrapp

"Golden Brown" - Emer Kenny

"Dream about Me" - Moby

"Sunday" - Moby

"Why does my Heart hurt so bad?" - Moby

"Take my Hand" - Dido

p.s. Ludwig van Beethoven's "Emperor" - Piano Concerto No. 5 in E-flat major, op. 73, III Rondo, Allegro

Sincerely,

Tristan Isolt

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

all tied up

2005-07-26T16:21:08Z

as I was walking through the mall this afternoon, I happened to notice a mother and father walking their two kids around. I'm guessing both kids were somewhere near the age of 3 and both kids were wearing leashes.

Yes. Leashes. The kind you put on your dog....sort of like a harness.

I was thinking, isn't it better to hold thier hands or put them in a stroller? or does the lesh help kids to become more independent? now i don't have any kidlets of my own, so i really am not familiar with all the benefits having ones kids on a leash would bring, however i can't help but think that leashing your children up and walking them around similar to how many people walk around with their dogs might just have some sort of long term effect on the kid.

has anyone looked into this? what are the psychological ramifications?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 5 replies

Effects of lack of sleep

2005-07-13T20:31:24Z

I was just reading in my psychology text how much lack of sleep affects the body psychologically and physiologically.

- waste build up in muscles and cells
- weaker immune system
- unbalanced hormone levels
- low levels of seratonin and melatonin
- high levels of cortisol
- lack of neurons in the brain
- infections, even death

Not too mention the increase of likelihood of accidents. I know a few people who do not sleep regularly on a daily basis. I am wondering how they can even function over the years without proper sleep.

I wonder if it will affect the longevity of their lives.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 23 replies

The Media and Perception or Why Do You Want a Website?

2005-07-11T16:58:46Z

Besides the usual reasons for having a personal website, (creative outlet, share my interests, etc.), I've given some thought to the "deeper" reasons one might want to establish and maintain a personal site.

The result is the following essay/thought piece. It's still a work in progress, but I think it gets the basic idea I'm trying to express across as it currently stands. If you'd like to read this offline, you can download a pdf of it (it's 3 pages printed) from my website by clicking this link. http://www.rocketjam.com/The%20Media%20and%20Perception%20v.5.pdf

------------------
The Media and Perception
version .5
July 7, 2005

The media in modern western-influenced culture creates a meta-reality for its consumers which supersedes the reality of their day to day existence. This essay looks at the difference between man’s culturally-created reality and the reality of the Universe-as-it-is, and the supplanting of culturally-created realities by the meta-reality of the media sphere.

In her book "Doubt, A History", Jennifer Michael Hecht writes about the difference between the socially and culturally constructed world that humans make and live in and the world of Nature with its seeming indifference to humanity’s hopes and dreams that we also inhabit. She says, "We live between two divergent realities: On one side, there is a world in our heads - and in our lives, so long as we are not contradicted by death and disaster - and that is a world of reason and plans, love, and purpose. On the other side, there is the world beyond our human life - an equally real world in which there is no sign of caring or value, planning or judgment, love, or joy."

Those rare times in our lives when the world beyond human life interrupts our human-constructed reality usually come as a shock to our minds. As Hecht said, they occur and affect our lives without regard to our plans, our sense of fairness or our concepts of humanity’s place in the hierarchy of the Universe.

What we know of the world depends on the interaction of our senses and brain/nervous system with the "outside" world. Modern physics has taught us that what we can measure of "reality" is relative to the tools being used for those measurements. Simple observation of your own perceptions will prove that what you perceive is very relative to how you are perceiving it. The temperature of a bowl of water you put your hand in will feel different to you, depending on how warm or cold your hand is at that time. A simple book of optical illusions will show you the assumptions our brain makes about what we perceive through our visual system.

But, beyond the limitations imposed on our perception of reality by our senses and nervous system, we humans impose additional limitations on our perceptions through our belief systems. We build up a picture of reality in our heads based on limited sensory input and language constructs which have no actual relationship to any tangible thing in the "objective" Universe. What is possible to know/perceive of reality is defined by our society and culture. This consensus reality permeates our social environment. Denying one's society/culture's consensus reality will get one labeled psychologically abnormal or ill.

In primitive, hunter-gatherer societies, people lived in small tribal units. A man's conception of reality and his place in the world were defined by the culture and/or religion or belief system of his tribe. These primitive tribes lived and survived close to the earth and had to have an intimate relationship to nature in order to survive that most of modern humanity does not have to have. Their religions and belief systems incorporated and formalized that relationship. From our origins in small tribes, man’s social/governmental groups have grown and evolved into the modern nation-state. The consensus reality we live in and the groups that create and define that reality have evolved with the advancements of civilization and technology. This change has radically altered the way we learn our culture's consensus reality as well as who defines our consensus reality.

For much of recorded history, religions and religious leaders held the power of defining consensus reality for their people. With the Renaissance and the advancements of the sciences, the church began to lose its grip on power. The technological advances of the Industrial Revolution signaled the beginnings of our modern media as newspapers grew at a quick pace. The freedom of the press provision of the American Bill of Rights encouraged newspapers to take a central role in directing national affairs. That influence on governmental direction, and their role in tying together a geographically widespread and separated populace meant they were inheriting the role of defining the consensus reality.

The technology explosion of the twentieth century increased the scope and reach of the media with the advent of radio and the cinema and then the defining media of that century, television. The eye of television and the reach of television became pervasive. Television began to complete the process of removing man from nature and "objective" reality that has been ongoing since man became self-conscious. Increasingly, we live our lives almost exclusively in man-made environments. Then, in this environment, we are surrounded (voluntarily or not) by media. The result of this is that we are even more removed from Nature and reality than our primitive ancestors were. The parts of the natural world that appear in our man-made environments tend to be either highly artificial, cultivated and processed to conform to an idealized version of nature or the “wildness” of nature that impinges on our cities is what we consider the detritus of the natural world: weeds, vermin and wild life that has adapted to man’s artificial environment. Even attempts to “get back to nature” are confined to a man-made expectation of what nature is or should be and occur in managed environments. So a prepackaged nature is what we get when we go camping in a state or national park or what is delivered to us on T.V. via wildlife shows.

The constructed world in our heads is more real for us, most of the time than the real world of the Universe. The media’s contribution to this displacement of reality cannot be overestimated. Beyond man’s "normally" constructed world in our minds, cinema and television have built up a simulation of our day to day reality that has become more real for people than their own daily experience and existence. The tendency of people who find themselves in situations highly removed from ordinary experience to compare the experience to “being in a movie” is an illustration of this idea. There is an interesting article at The Age’s website <http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2004/01/09/1073437468260.html> about a philosopher who survived a crocodile attack several years ago. She notes that even as the attack was occurring, she thought about how this couldn’t be happening because “I’m not food”. She goes on and talks about the dream-like quality of the attack, as if it weren’t really happening but she says she has since come to the conclusion that our ordinary life and consciousness are the dream, an outlook echoed by many religions and mystics. That we live in the illusion that we are outside nature and can control it.

The reality of the media, which is everywhere within our culture can be considered a meta-reality. A kind of hyper-reality which contains our ordinary everyday reality. Since our day-to-day reality is small subset of the meta-reality presented to us by the media, it seems to be less real or important than the meta-reality of the evening news. But periodically, an event will occur within our personally familiar territory which is covered by the local media. This event and the coverage by the media validate our existence and reality within the local media’s meta-reality. Now we do exist and our part of the world is real.

If we are involved or within proximity of an event which should receive national news coverage, we become even more real as the meta-reality of the national media contains the reality of the local media. This is why people are generally willing, even eager to give ‘man on the street’ viewpoints to news organizations or in other ways grab their 15 minutes of fame. No matter how they would appear or come across in their localized reality, they are now ‘real’ in the meta-reality of the media.

As the media has become more pervasive in people’s lives the affordability of the means to participate as a media producer has dropped, and with the advent of the internet has become accessible to anyone with a computer. Following the huge influx of people getting online starting in the mid-nineties, business and the media have attempted to incorporate the internet into their sphere of properties and influence, resulting in the internet taking on some of the aura of the media meta-reality. It has resisted being absorbed by these entities though, so anyone, with a modest investment can establish a presence on the internet and with a minimum of effort get good search engine placement and generate a modest amount of traffic. Via a personal website and public search engines, anyone can be as real in the meta-reality the internet represents as ABC News or Sony Corporation are. And, with sites such as the internet archive, a certain level of immortality in that reality is assured even if we let our website expire.
-----------------

I'd like to mention a couple of other notes about this essay. I first began to formulate this in my head in 2003. In 2004 I wrote a very rough first draft, and edited that once or twice, incorporating new material and removing some existing material. Early this year, I ran across the remarkable book "Poker Without Cards", by Ben Mack. "Poker Without Cards" is a much more extensive exploration of many of the ideas touched on here, as well as many other important ideas including the phenomenon of entrainment and its implications in a media/advertising saturated society, the science of memetics and how that is being used by the media and the advertising industry to influence society and much more.

I'd be happy to see some discussion of the ideas I've put up here on tribe.net. I'd also like to see more people become aware of the ideas expressed in "Poker Without Cards". Toward that end, I'm posting the URL of its website where you can download a free copy of it in pdf-eBook form:

http://www.pokerwithoutcards.com

One more note, Ben Mack is a member of tribe.net. If you find all this of interest, you might search Ben's name here and check out some of the discussions he is or has been involved in. I think you'll find his ideas very thought-provoking.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

psychological eduction

2005-06-28T03:32:20Z

up until yesterday, i didnt know one could work in the psych field without taking 7+ years of university. my question to those that know: what can you do with a bachelors of psych? anyone have a good link?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 4 replies

Racing Mind

2005-05-20T11:52:49Z

Katie's message in the Lack of Sleep thread got me thinking.... does anyone have any ideas of how to tell your brain to shut up?

I've done yoga for years, and I used to be able to focus and relax during relaxation, and now my mind just races. The same thing when I try to go to sleep.

The only crazy thing I've done so far is yell at my husband even though I don't mean to and he doesn't deserve it. I just get so stressed about everything I have to do, and I can't let it go.

Granted we are in a stressful time (we moved into a new house at the beginning of the month), and I think we are wearing ourselves too thin with too many activities...any ideas to help?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 3 replies

Freud

2005-05-17T21:09:37Z

So the other day I am reading up on the life Sylvia Plath and the turmoil she went through. Apparently she did see a psychiatrist for the last ten years of her life (1953-1963). One of the diagnoses that the psychiatrist (most likely schooled in Freudian psychology) made was the she was probably not properly toilet trained as a child and this may have lead to her neuroses!

Okay I haven't been formally trained in pyschology though I've done a lot of reading on my own but something struck me after reading this. Why in gods name do we consider Sigmund Freud the modern "father of psychology"?!! What exactly did this man contribute to the study of the mind?

Let's see. We have the concept of penus envy...We have the diagnoses of "hysteria" which was pretty much a catch all diagnoses for just about any problem a woman was having. Granted he didn't come up with this concept but he expanded on it. We have pronouncements with ZERO scientific evidence that the way a child is toilet trained can have a dramtic effect on their psyche. We have the idea that many neuroses are caused by the suppression of "unconscience" painful memories. I think from what we know now about "recovered memories" and "hypnosis" that this is all utter hogwash. We have the practice of "free association" and dream interpretation (nonsense for the most part), etc, etc...

I had this debate with someone who argued that "Well Freud came up with the idea of treating someone's mental problems with talk therapy". I'm sorry but this was NOT a breakthrough. Any layman from the past three hundred years could probably tell you tell that if you have a problem it's good to talk to someone about it. This is not any kind of "revelation". They may not have used the term "psychoanalysis" but the idea is the same. The other argument the person used was that Freud came up with the concept of human "drives". Things that drive all human beings towards certain behaviors. Again, was this really a breakthrough? Wasn't this concept pretty much layed out by Darwin and his successors? Not to mention that I think even most laypeople understood that things like "hunger","sex", and "self-preservation" are basic drives that are common to humanity (with the possible exception of some of the religious kooks of the time).

My main problem with Freud is that he seemed to be UTTERLY unscientific. He didn't run experiments to test these theories out, he just postulated them and than began acting on them when counseling his patients! In other words Sigmund Freud basically practiced WITCHDOCTORY! For a woman to go to a counselor due to epileptic seizures and to be diagnosed with a mental condition resulting from the supposed "suppresion of sexual desires" is something one might expect from a witchdoctor in tribal New Guinea of the time, not from the "father of modern psychology"! In fact not only did Sigmund Freud most likely NOT cure anyone of ANYTHING he contributed to the practice of psychology that probably did more HARM than GOOD! At least if one was treated by a real witchdoctor with a few herbs and some chanting it probably wouldn't have done any HARM unlike Freud's practice of psychology--blaming parents for the neuroses of their kids when this wasn't the case, implanting false ideas and memories into people's minds, telling them that their lustful desires for a parent contributed to their condition, etc.

Can someone explain this to me? Maybe I'm missing something. Because it seems to me like Freud should be the posterboy of what NOT to do in either the field of science, psychology, or the practice of medicine...

posted in Armchair Psychology - 20 replies

Dr. Phil

2005-04-01T20:58:05Z

What's you take on Dr. Phil?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 14 replies

Film/TV rec: Century of the Self

2005-02-21T20:57:45Z

I just saw a really interesting film (actually it is a 4-part documentary series for TV, but they showed it in one of the art house theaters here in SF) called "Century of the Self." The show traces the history of psychoanalysis but with an emphasis on its social, business and political impacts, including how the Liberal parties of today here in the U.S. and abroad are seemingly shooting themselves in the foot by using its techniques to try to respond to the strong current of individualism.

It's 4 hours part but well worth the watch... for people in San Francisco, it is showing at the Roxie evenings through Thursday.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

Antidepressants increase risk of suicidal behaviour: study

2005-02-21T19:09:57Z

OTTAWA - A widely prescribed class of anti-depressants contributes to a two-fold increase in the risk of suicide attempts, say the Canadian authors of the most comprehensive study of its kind.

The findings, published in the most recent issue of the British Medical Journal, have significant implications because of the widespread use selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).

Scientists at the Ottawa Health Research Institute analyzed more than 700 clinical trials involving almost 90,000 patients taking SSRIs, which include drugs sold under the name brands Prozac, Cipramil and Zoloft.

The Ottawa study compared the reported number of suicide attempts by patients on the drugs to the number of attempts by patients taking a placebo.

The risk of suicide is somewhat expected with depression, but the study found that the drugs contributed to an increased risk in patients suffering from other conditions. Doctors also prescribe SSRIs to treat anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder and social phobia.

"The very interesting thing is it's occurring in non-depressed individuals," said Dr. Paul Hebert, co-author of the study. "We're seeing it in some diseases where suicide is unexpected, for example in panic disorder."

The study's authors say the risk could be higher than their results show because the published clinical trials they examined have limitations.

Most of the trials followed fewer than 100 people and many were short-term or had high drop-out rates. As well, some trials didn't report suicides or attempts if there were fewer than a certain percentage.

That points to the problem of under-reporting in clinical trials, said Dr. Dean Fergusson, who headed up the Ottawa study.

"It leaves all of us in the dark. When you have serious adverse effects, they need to be reported. We would have known about this sooner if there was more rigorous reporting," he said.

But the head of the University of Ottawa's psychiatry department told the Globe and Mail that he is deeply concerned about the way the findings were presented.

"I don't agree with the press release in the way it was worded. Because I think it's extremely alarmist and it could do harm," said Dr. Jacques Bradwejn, who is also psychiatrist-in-chief at the Royal Ottawa and Ottawa hospitals.

Bradwejn worries the public will miss the important caveat that two times is a very small number. "It might overamplify the danger and the frequency of the danger," he told the Globe.

In fact, the Ottawa researchers insist SSRIs are still safe for the majority of patients.

Both Health Canada and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration have warned of an increased risk of rare but serious side-effects such as suicidal thoughts and behaviour in children and teens who take certain antidepressants. And regulators have boosted warnings on packaging for SSRIs.

Source: http://www.cbc.ca/story/science/national/2005/02/18/SSRI-suicide050218.html

posted in Armchair Psychology - 1 reply

Humanistic/Existential therapy tribe

2005-02-21T01:47:20Z

Check it out if you're interested:
thirdforce.tribe.net

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

seasonal depression

2005-02-19T04:27:01Z

for those of you who are unfortunate enough to be living in northern states, how are you coping with the winter blues? I live right near boston and it's been such a long, horrible winter already and I feel like I'm going to lose my mind! anybody have suggestions besides the obvious, take a vacation, workout, go tanning bullshit?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 3 replies

A research study for women ages 18-29

2005-02-04T03:27:47Z

If you are a woman between the ages of 18 and 29, please consider participating in a research study conducted by a graduate student of psychology at CSPP. This study concerns your relationship with your mother (or other primary female caregiver) and eating behaviors. The study should take about 30 minutes. Your participation would be greatly appreciated! If you are interested, the link below will take you to the survey:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=25602801110

Thank you

posted in Armchair Psychology - 1 reply

Talk Therapy

2005-02-01T18:09:27Z

Anyone been in one-on-one therapy before? I did it for 13 years before coming to terms with it not working. I hate to admit it took so long, but I think I was somewhat addicted to it in a way...having that one person, that one hour a week, that sacred time where I was the subject and the focus...I never had someone give me that sort of attention before. Anyway, I finally gave it up. But I feel so weird about that. Like I failed and should keep trying or something...even considered seeking a new therapist recently...had to remind myself that 13 years was more than enough time to figure out if it was going to have the desired affect.

So, anybody know where to go from here? I already tried the drugs, group therapy, drama therapy, family therapy, and just going it totally on my own...there's gotta be something more...this can't be the end of the line. Any and all suggestions would be much appreciated, thank you.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 7 replies

Should one strive to be Admired or Loved ?

2004-12-23T17:04:10Z

I would like to get your perspective on....

Should one strive to be Admired or Loved ?

Which do you strive for and why ?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 5 replies

Finnegan's Wake...

2004-12-19T07:47:29Z

What would Dr. Phil say?
Seriously. What commentary would Dr.Phil have to offer on this baffling product of James Joyce?

If this thread survives for more than a week, I'll probably persue some kind of answer from the Dr.Phil himself. I'm sure he's got a website or we can call Oprah until his phone bleeds.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

Multiplicity

2004-12-19T07:40:10Z

Wow. Found some interesting crap on this today. I'd be interested in discussing this with someone who buys into it.

Here's some links to get you started...

http://www.kitsune.cx/blackbirds/about.html

http://commune.jinkies.org.uk/

Astute web-people will note that the first one isn't a real science page; It's an anime-related fan-site.

This prompts the question of just how unhealthy is it for people to self-diagnose themselves with a mental disorder, then embrace it? The trend seems awfully disturbing.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 3 replies

Spot the fake smile

2004-12-16T09:38:01Z

I only got 14 / 20.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/index.shtml

posted in Armchair Psychology - 22 replies

I was Psyc major, an asset or baggage?

2004-12-16T09:27:54Z

It's great that this tribe exists. I have been wanting to discuss with others for so long a question that I have.

I got my first degree in Psychology. Although today I am not practicing in the field of Psychology per se, I am always told by others that I possess a very "analytic" edge and can see through people.

I don't know whether this is an asset or baggage, because sometimes people are afraid to talk to me or that they say they feel inferior in managing their emotions and psyche in front of me.

But I don't really make a 'conscious' effort to analyze or scare others at all. Is anyone having a similar experience?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 9 replies

Terrific Online Articles

2004-12-14T13:09:18Z

There are a ton of great articles today! See below.

Men, Women See Colors Differently
By Jennifer Virgas, Discovery News
Aug. 2, 2004
http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20040802/color.html?ct=6299.85429653065

What Dreams Are Made Of
New technology is helping brain scientists unravel the mysteries of the night.
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/5569228/site/newsweek/?GT1=4578

Substance Abuse, Mental Woes Strike 1 in 10
Aug 02 2004
http://health.discovery.com/news/healthscout/article.jsp?aid=520422

Mind of a Stalker: Why Torment Someone?
Updated: 3:31 p.m. ET Aug. 2, 2004
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5550445/

Study: Flu in Pregnancy Linked to Schizophrenia
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=594&e=2&u=/nm/20040802/hl_nm/health_schizophrenia_dc

posted in Armchair Psychology - 3 replies

Anxiety moves prairie girl to meow like a cat in public

2004-11-21T04:22:01Z

SASKATOON -- A little Saskatchewan girl who suffers from such severe anxiety she can't speak in front of strangers, and instead communicates by making cat sounds, has gone to a world-renowned U.S. centre specializing in the disorder.

Source: http://www.canada.com/vancouver/vancouversun/news/story.html?id=aa125d64-1304-4cd9-aa21-5f746e3c0ea1

posted in Armchair Psychology - 1 reply

For Psychologists/students of

2004-11-21T04:19:30Z

I'm applying to several Grad schools for entrance into fall 2005 PhD programs in either Clinical or Counseling Psych, and have a few schools that I would definitly like to apply to-- UC Berkeley (though I doubt I'll get in), Texas A & M, UCLA and ?

As a back up plan, I am also applying to a few terminal masters programs at Phillips Graduate Institute (tho they have a PsyD), Cal State Long Beach and Cal State Northridge.

The questions I have for you lovely people are:

what school do you go to?

what do you specialize in?

do you like it?

Do you wish you went somewhere else? why?

if you recall, what were the schools gpa and gre requirements?

what were some of the deciding factors that you considered in selecting this school?

what was your undergraduate major?

what is your end goal?

Any recommendations or anything else I should consider?

Thank you so much for your help!

posted in Armchair Psychology - 1 reply

Self-focused people in society

2004-09-03T23:24:20Z

Josh T. brought up some good points about self-focused people in society.

So what do we think of these kinds of people?

While taking Sociology, I was thinking that modern city life was dominated by self-focused people who's primary objective is increase and maintain their individual well-bring. They tend to think of themselves before anyone else, buy material things to create an identity, and make decisions based on how the outcome will impact them.

This lifestyle saddens me because it does not foster a community-building environment, which is obviously not for everyone. But it is nice to feel a real connection with people that is not based on material wealth and status (consumer-driven). I realize a lot of this philosophy comes from low-self esteem and confidence. But I'm really tired of the me, me, me generations.

Thoughts?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 8 replies

ARC tribe

2004-08-23T04:48:14Z

Just in case anyone here is in this area, there is a tribe I just discovered called American River College.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

Family Upbringings

2004-08-20T20:15:33Z

I'm starting to the think that most people have relationship problems because they did not get enough positive, healthy and supportive psychological and sociological interaction from their families.

Their families did not come from this type of family structure, so they are raised with bits and pieces of relationship goodness.

So many people lack communication skills, confidence, and self-esteem.

Being a cynical person, I'm starting to think that everyone should be sterilized to be unable to have children. Once you take a parenting course and pass with flying colours, you get the antidote. Sounds harsh, but this is how I usually think. :P

posted in Armchair Psychology - 12 replies

Single-parent upbringings (issues for children?)

2004-08-14T23:48:54Z

elle brought up an important factor in 21st century families: single-parent units. I also grew up with my mum after my parents divorced. Our dad stayed in our lives through visits and childcare. My brother is already a deadbeat dad with a daughter who is 4 years old.

I know there is a lot of factors that can cause issues for children in future relationships depending on whether it is the mother or father that is obsolete. I know I had male related relationship issues based on how fatherless my dad was and on how he treated my mother.

I'm starting to worry about the impact the lack of my brother being a father will be on my niece.

Thoughts?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 2 replies

Authenticity

2004-08-11T22:18:48Z

"Authenticity is all about making moment-by-moment decisions about who you are and who you wish to be in this moment. The degreee of authenticity you experience will depend on how skillful you become as a decesion maker in these critical moments. Fundamentally, the decesions you make reflect the clarity of your-self knowledge, the value you place on the opinions and feelings of others, your awareness of the current situation (and any like it you've experienced in the past) and your belief in "overriding values."
Parrott/Warren from Love the Life you Live.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 3 replies

Suicidology tribe

2004-07-12T07:25:46Z

I've started a fairly self-explanatory tribe called "suicidology" for any who may be interested.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

What is love?

2004-06-11T18:13:07Z

What is love?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4- to 8-year olds: "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca - age 8
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You justknow that your name is safe in their mouth." (this one's so sweet) Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen," Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday."Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
friends even after they know each other so well."Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. Ilooked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the onlyone doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone allday."
Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old
clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (What an image!)
Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you
mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
*** And, the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. (Now this will melt your heart!) The winner was a four-year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor,the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

posted in Armchair Psychology - 4 replies

Hello, newbie here

2004-05-30T12:38:15Z

Hi, I've only recenty joined and wanted to introduce myself. I'm Rachel (aka Windy, whichever you like), a psychology student in Sacramento. I also wanted to mention that I have started a tribe called "Psychology & Counselling Students" to be a resource for students. Any students or teachers are welcome. Thanx for having me on the tribe.
Take care,
Rachel

posted in Armchair Psychology - 9 replies

Noah's Ark

2004-05-26T04:26:16Z

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark...

One: Don't miss the boat.
Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark. Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Six: Build your future on high ground.
Seven: For safety sake, travel in pairs.
Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.
Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

>KILL TROLL WITH SWORD

2004-04-23T17:02:32Z

.G.G.G.G.G

Ugh. Where were we?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 3 replies

Don't Mind Me

2004-03-29T12:34:09Z

I've read some of the Profiles and Postings, Wow! You all sound so abstract and smart that I'm reluctant to even mention my compulsion to Scratch my Balls with a broken bottle. So, I just won't bring it up.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 18 replies

Calling Dr. Love

2004-03-25T21:08:51Z

There's nothing wrong with any of you that a Blowtorch and a live Weasel won't Fix. I work cheap.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 6 replies

Catharsis

2004-03-24T20:18:09Z

I think we should eat something, wait an hour, and take a nice healthy shit.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 0 replies

Common Sense: Reality or Myth?

2004-02-27T22:13:52Z

If it's so common why does there seem to be such a lack of it? Has it disappeared or has the "common" idea changed?

I think a big part of the problem -- especially in this country -- is that there are so many laws that are meant to protect us that maybe we don't know how to protect ourselves anymore. It becomes a victim game, as if we didn't have any choice or that we have no personal responsibilities. Take for example, people who sue the fast food industry for making them fat, or the person who sued McDonald's because she spilled hot coffee on herself. Common sense would tell you, hey, stop eating so much, or maybe you shouldn't be drinking hot coffee while you're driving.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 7 replies

Negative reinforcement

2004-02-25T17:44:10Z

I'm really tired of the fact that in Vancouver, Canada, everything is to small for me. I'm about a size 14 now, usually a 10. Nothing fits. The large belt I bought doesn't fit. Womens sizes have shrunk numerically.

People give negative reinforcement when a women has lost weight from depression or stress.

I know so many girls who don't eat or starve themselves to maintain a perfection that isn't achievable.

Even the slighest fold or love handle is considered fat. blech.

Why aren't men judged on this same level.

I hate the double standards, and the submissive women that reinforce them.

</rant>

posted in Armchair Psychology - 18 replies

lying on the phone?

2004-02-23T17:52:47Z

Lies, damn lies -- and phone calls
Wed Feb 11, 1:47 PM ET Add Offbeat - AFP to My Yahoo!

PARIS (AFP) - People who tell lies are likelier to do so in a phone call rather than an e-mail, a psychologist says.

AFP/File Photo

Researcher Jeff Hancock of Cornell University, New York state, asked 30 students to keep a truthful diary of their communications for a week, New Scientist reports.

The volunteers were asked to note the number of e-mail exchanges or phone conversations that lasted more than 10 minutes, as well as instant messages and face-to-face conversations, and to confess to how many lies they had told.

Lies were told in 14 percent of e-mails, 21 percent of instant messages, 27 percent of face-to-face contact -- and a whopping 37 percent of phone calls.

The findings are a surprise, because e-mailers would normally be considered to be the most persistent liars, given the detachment of the Internet.

Hancock suggests that two factors come into play when people tell a whopper -- whether the communication is instant, and whether they are being recorded.

They may be discouraged from telling lies in an e-mail, because this message is on the record and the sender can be held to account.

But he found many of his students told lies spontaneously in face-to-face conversation because they had been caught wrongfooted.

If, for instance, someone asked them "do you like my new haircut?" and the true answer was that it looked awful, they would tell a lie to cover what they really thought.

The study, reported in next Saturday's issue of New Scientist, is to be presented by Hancock at a conference in Vienna on April on interactions between computers and humans.

He believes the findings will be of use for corporations. The phone might be the best medium for sales employees who are encouraged to stretch the truth, but e-mails would be better for workers where honesty is a priority.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 4 replies

female cattiness- revealed!

2004-02-20T21:21:53Z

Okay, I just saw this article today but I read this theory and studies that back it up in Woman, an Intimate Geography, a few years ago, so it's not really a new idea, but here it goes:

Why Women Berate Each Other

THURSDAY, Feb. 19 (HealthDayNews) -- When and how women criticize each other relates to their competition for mates, contends a new Canadian study.

"One potential strategy for competition is competitor derogation -- using tactics to make a rival inferior to oneself," says study author Maryanne Fisher, from York University in Toronto.

The researchers, who compared how women rate the attractiveness of other women's faces during periods of low and high fertility, found that women in a highly fertile phase of their menstrual cycles gave much lower ratings to other women's facial attractiveness than did women in a less fertile phase.

Women in the study rated men's facial attractiveness almost identically, whether the women were in high or low fertility phases. In both phases, however, their ratings of male attractiveness were lower than their ratings of other women's attractiveness.

Previous research indicates that female attractiveness is seen as a potential means of competing for mates best able to provide adequate food and shelter and protect children.

"Devaluing the facial attractiveness of a same-sex rival would indicate this phenomena occurring," Fisher says in a prepared statement.

"And it was further hypothesized that during periods of high fertility -- when the potential for conception and competition for a 'good mate' was greatest -- women would be most critical of a rival's appearance," she says.

The study will be published in the online journal Biology Letters.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 2 replies

Dance politics

2004-02-12T16:28:05Z

I wrote this on the Cabaret Bellydance tribe, and was told to post it here for analysis. So- am I petty, screwed up person or am I justified in my hurt feelings?

I had an experience with a more inexperienced dancer in my troupe (old troupe) who was getting a little too bossy and demanding. When I finally called her on it- NO ONE BACKED ME UP! That sucked. I wasn't the only one that felt that way, just that no one wanted to say it. I wasn't trying to bring ugliness into the circle- it was already eminating from her. Problem was that I would never have brought up my frustration with her attitude had she not attacked me first. I was trying to make suggestions on 'cleaning up' the line. As not to single out anyone, I implied that I too was having problems seeing the leader at the end of the line, though that wasn't necessarily the case- I could follow fine. I just didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable- ha ha. She then attacked me (because she was the 'leader' of the line) saying that everyone else was doing fine, that she wanted to do more complex moves, and it didn't matter what we looked like- she didn't care. She actually made the comment that "For $15 [each member's share of the $100 the troupe was getting for the performance], I don't care!" At that point, I pulled out the, 'You're being bossy!' line, and she immediately (IMMEDIATELY!- until then it was a heated whisper between only us) ran to the troupe director and the rest of the troupe screamning, "Flower says I'm bossy, I'm not being bossy, am I???!!!!" And made it look like I started everything. Of course, everyone there was like, "Oh no, you're not being bossy, you're just concentrating hard because it's the night before the gig." So, I was totally left standing there all alone with no support. No one had the guts to call her on her shit. As it happens, the people who felt that way had already left the troupe or weren't performing in that performance. So it was just me. We weren't an expressly tribal troupe, but probably run more like a tribal one. I just never thought that that cattiness would erupt in my safe little dance place, ya know? I can understand competetion, but we were supposedly all in the same family there. I was just trying to make the performance as polished as possible, not rip on her style or choice of movements. Some people just can't take criticism, I guess (Me included sometimes).

Now, though she's only been dancing two, three years tops, she is teaching a beginning belly dance class. I think that's bogus- I feel sorry for her students. She just doesn't have the experience or the maturity to teach people proper posture or movements. Oh well...most beginners don't stick with it anyway...

God, I have to let that go! It happened in October, and actually pictures from that gig are in my profile. (She's the fuschia one at the end in the picture of my back). But it really stings still. I had been in that troupe twice as long as she had been. Maybe I have some unresolved territorial issues but I feel like she usurped my friends. I actually apologized to her for the things I said to her hoping to smooth things over and reintigrate back into the troupe, but she gave me the cold shoulder and never apologized back to me. She just gave me her arrogant hautiness instead. As a matter of fact, she turned her back on me and walked away in the middle of my apology! I actually have a guilty conscience over all of that because I can't release the residual hurt feelings from that disasterous experience. It just sucks. I wish I had a stronger emotional constitution and could just let the water go over the duck's back and all, but it BURNS, IT BURNS!

posted in Armchair Psychology - 2 replies

Does media and society dumb us down?

2004-02-08T19:56:34Z

Do you think media and society project a vision of dumbing-down, so the people behave as controllable sheep and discourage individuality?

I obviously think this or I wouldn't be posting it.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 6 replies

Last Great Advice You Gave?

2004-01-08T00:15:01Z

To my niece's mom: If you stay in a destructive relationship it will only get worse. Your daughter will grow up thinking that it's ok for a man to abuse her and a woman should be the submissive person in a relationship.

posted in Armchair Psychology - 2 replies

Hey?

2003-12-31T01:55:34Z

What's with people having 150+ friendsters / tribe friends? Is there anyone who meets that criteria who can shed some insight? And, statistically, there should be someone here who 'knows' someone with an excessive internet, uh, network.

Is this trend related to any real-life behavior?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 3 replies

One more reason I hate Xmas.

2003-12-14T16:45:42Z

http://tinyurl.com/y6cf

posted in Armchair Psychology - 6 replies

Where to begin?!

2003-12-03T10:41:43Z

Ok, well we've got two major jigsaw-brains in the news:
- Michael Jackson's back in the spotlight, but that discussion is a little played out.
- John Hinckley Jr. may get released on a much-suspecting public. And Jody Foster's hot as ever.

Am I missing anyone?

posted in Armchair Psychology - 1 reply